An NLP Trick To Build Your Inner Beauty Confidence

Change your thoughts with a simple, yet effective NLP technique (see below)

We are always looking at ourselves and question our facial imperfections: Why is my nose shaped in such a way? Why are my eyes not in equilibrium? Should I have fuller lips? Is my face shape attractive? Each day turns into a long string of rhetorical questions, which, leave us questioning whether we score high on the beauty scale.

Building the confidence around our physical looks is challenging because we're tapping into sensitive areas. Just like a sensitive tooth biting into the ice cubes and ice cream, some of us find it hard to accept our "physical flaws" that can be intensely painful when people question a birthmark, a missing limb, a broken nose or, according to them, the "wrong face shape". It's the harsh comments and sometimes the imaginary voices ones that make us shrink from accepting ourselves: You've got to continuously remind yourself: YOU ARE UNIQUE. Yes, I know you're going to turn around and say easier said than done, right? I believe it can be executed (with patience) because it all boils down to the image in your mind's eye. You see, if you perceive yourself as worthless, ugly and not worthy of attention, then your thoughts will attract people who'll reflect that belief in you. But, the beauty about the mind is any idea or thought can be changed at our will. So, shall we take the 1st step to a beautiful and confident you?

Here's an NLP technique tip I suggest you try:  Imagine yourself as you are in your mind's eye. Rehearse the mental image of yourself as perfect, whole and lovable - make that image strong, colourful and believe in it. Each time a negative thought or idea pops in, imagine the mouse cursor dragging the image and placing it at the far right hand corner, continuously reducing the size. Try keeping the focus through relaxing meditaiton music and deep breathing.

Take this time to learn about your inner beauty - what makes you a beautiful person. Our imagination can be our friend or our enemy, the choice is ours. Begin step by step to piecing yourself together....

How To Help Your Teenager Daughter Feel Beautiful

Prolific Writer: Agnes Jimenez

www.empressofdrac.com

The world of teenagers can be harsh especially when it comes to being beautiful. There will be times when your daughter comes home saying: "Mum, I'm not as beautiful as Clarissa/Jane/Britney; I wish I had her hair and flawless skin. All the boys fancy her because she's beautiful". Understandably, for any mother, they must think how can this child believe she's not beautiful? Unfortunately, this is the start of girls questioning themselves whether they're worth attention or even considered beautiful by society.

This week's post looks at how parents can encourage their child to feel better about themselves and was kindly provided by Agnes Jimenez, a professional blogger and writer. She writes for many online establishments and currently partners with TheFamilyCompass.com in spreading awareness about troubled and depressed teenagers. You can follow her on Twitter @empressofdrac

There are many things that upset children and teenagers. For girls, as they grow up, they become focused on their looks. It seems like everywhere is telling your daughter to wear makeup, dress like an adult and be a size 0. It is extremely worrying for parents and affects a girl's self-esteem in many ways. Here are some tips on how to help your daughter with worries about her looks.

Let Her Know You Are There

The first step in helping your daughter is to let her know that you are there. The worst thing that you can do is pressure her into talking to you or demanding that she let you know the problem. You also need to avoid walking away from her when she does want to talk or telling her that it is now or never. These will just make her bottle everything up and feel worse about herself.

 When looking at how to help your troubled daughter, let them constantly know that you are there to listen when she is ready to talk. Let her do it in her own time but know that you will not judge her for her thoughts and feelings. Knowing that you are there and being reminded of that will help them build the courage to talk and build trust.  

Tell Her She Is Pretty

Hearing compliments helps with building self-confidence so tell your daughter that she is pretty on a regular basis. This is especially the case when your daughter is not wearing any makeup or has not brushed her hair. Do this while she is on the way to school every morning; she may not appreciate it at first or may not know how to handle the compliment, but it will stick in her subconscious after time.

 Moms could opt for a girl's day out. A great option is to go for a spa treatment, such as massages, manicures and relaxing treatments. These will help to give you the chance to spend time together and will offer a safe environment for your daughter to open up to you.

 Listen to What She Is Not Saying

Some girls will be subtle in talking about their problems so you will need to listen to words that she is not saying. Younger girls may use imaginary friends and older girls will say the problem is one of another friend at school as a way to tell you something that is happening. Listen to everything that they are saying and never judge. It is likely that they are after advice while testing if they can trust you not to judge.

 You may find that your daughter asks hypothetical questions to find out how you will react. Answer these questions with an open mind and be aware that this is often a test. Daughters play these tricks as a way to make sure you were honest when you said that you would not judge. It also helps to avoid embarrassment when they are talking about their worries or troubles.

 Listen to Her Dreams and Wants

You need to help build your daughter's self-esteem in other ways to help her feel better about the way she looks. Take the time to listen to what she wants to do with her life and the aspirations she has. They may be completely different to your wants for her but it is important to support her. Some girls dream of being a ballerina so support her in that but offer advice along the way. This will help her to have a backup plan but know that you will always be there if something does go wrong. She will be more willing to turn to you with an issue.

 Helping your daughter is all about offering her support. You need to help build her confidence in herself so that she is not relying onthe media and magazines to tell her. She needs to be comfortable in her own skin and the way that she looks so that others accept her for who she is.

Guest Post: A Teenage Girl's Journey to Discovering Inner Beauty

Victoria Shockley The Self-Motivated Writer:

http://victoriashockleywrites.wordpress.com

When Victoria Shockley, Assistant Editor at Women Writers Women Books reached her teenage years, she was faced with the chafing challenge of accepting her physical self. From her awkward moments at school, battling with her brittle self-esteem and experiencing the frustation of teenage acne, Victoria finally shed her uncomfortable cocoon and emerged into an ambitious, self-motivated writer. Her honest account is an insight into the difficulties every teenage girl faces.


The teenage years can sometimes be the most difficult to handle, especially if you’re a girl. Appearance becomes very important and for most girls, their self-esteem suffers immensely: This was certainly the case for me.

I entered my teenage years in pretty bad shape when it came to beauty. I wore braces for over two years, and hated them so much that I covered my mouth whenever I laughed. At one point, I lost a baby tooth, but the adult tooth hadn’t come in yet, so I had braces plus a hole right in the front of my mouth. I was mortified whenever I saw a picture of myself. For years, I suffered from acne, and no matter what creams I applied or how many times a day I washed my face, I still walked around with all of those unsightly red bumps. Being a Florida native, the heat and humidity didn’t help!

Most days, I felt like my face should be covered up wherever I went. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until I was 15, so there was no opportunity to hide any of it. Even after I reached that age and began applying cover-up and foundation, it would clog my pores and sometimes make my face look worse than it did before.

I was also tall for my age, hitting 5’7” by the time I was 14 years old. Although I appreciate my height now, back then it was embarrassing to be taller than everyone I knew, even the boys. I could never wear shoes with any kind of heel, and I endured a number of different, insulting nicknames in school (“giraffe” was the most popular). As is common with height, I have bigger-than-average feet, so shoe-shopping with the girls
was always embarrassing. They would be buying their petite, cute sandals and heels in size 7 or 8 (I even had a friend who could fit into children’s shoes!), while I would be browsing the limited selection of the size 10 aisle.

Because of the importance that is placed on girls’ appearance and their attractiveness, my self-esteem suffered greatly during these years. I was shy and quiet, and I dreaded getting up in front of the class for presentations. I would spend hours trying to decide what to wear and how to do my hair, although I usually never discovered an outfit or dress that convinced me I was pretty. If people complimented my looks outright, I either laughed it off or over-analyzed why and how they could see me that way.

Looking back now, there isn’t one specific moment where I suddenly realized that outer beauty didn’t matter as much as I thought it did. It was a gradual process, but eventually I began to accept myself for how I look, and it became clear that what kind of person you are is more important than how you look on the outside. I started ignoring the insults, and instead, I listened to the compliments:

You’re so sweet and funny – I love talking to you! I can talk to you for hours.
I’m so glad I met you. You made a difference in my life.
You’re one of the most caring people I know.

Today, I still wear makeup, and I still care about what clothes I choose in the morning - but its not all that’s important. What really matters is how I act and what kind of person I am, whether I stand up for what I believe in and take into consideration whether I treat others the way I want to be treated  and be a good friend to those who are good friends to me. When you show people you’re beautiful on the inside, they’ll stand by you even if you have an unsightly pimple one day, or your hair won’t cooperate, or you have no sense of fashion. Who you are on the inside is what really matters. That’s what makes you beautiful.

Meet The Women Who Want To Make Your Beautiful - Part 4 Caitlin Boyle: The Editor

Pen is mightier than the sword: The Editor Caitlin Boyle

www.operationbeautiful.com

Welcome to Inner Bellissima's hunt for maverns whose mission is to end women's negative self-talk through the mediums of coaching, healing, writing and hypnotherapy amongst several. We finally caught up with the Caitlin Boyle, Editor of www.operationbeautiful.com whose successful note-writing campaign has fuelled the flames of positivity and encouragement amongst women across the world. Notes have been flying in from all over the world, sparking the torch of inner beauty talk: in turn, this sparked off a guide book for teenagers to combat their way through tough decisions and challenges.

In this interview, Caitlin speaks about the mission behind Operation Beautiful, why we need to stop beating ourselves up and how thinking of the most beautiful person in the world can make you feel that way.

What is OperationBeautiful about? 

The site started in June 2009 and I've received over 7,000 notes from all over the world since it started, including notes from Asia, Europe, and Africa.  Operation Beautiful involves posting random notes in public places for other people to find.  These notes typically encourage a positive body image or outlook and include phrases like "You are beautiful inside and out" or "Scales measure weight, not worth." I was inspired to start Operation Beautiful after having a really bad day at work; I wanted to do something small and simple for someone else to make me feel better! 

The Operation Beautiful book is called Operation Beautiful: Transforming the Way You See Yourself One Post-It Note at a Time.  It was published in August 2010 by Gotham Books and was featured in Glamour, Fitness, Women's Day, FIRST, and on The Today Show.  The book includes 125 amazing notes and stories, as well as tips on how to lead a happier and healthier life.  The book is available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Borders.  The next book will be for tweens and teens and will be released in Summer 2012!  It will be called Operation Beautiful: For Best Friends and is now available for pre-order.

What makes you want to inspire women to uncover their beauty?

There is a lot of negative messaging in our society.  The biggest mistake we make is beating ourselves up for not looking like models or celebrities.   It's time we stop emulating or striving for a type of perfection that doesn't even exist in the real world.  It's OK to look like a human!

Do you think we can think ourselves beautiful?

 I do.  Think of the most beautiful person you know... it is probably your mom or grandma or best friend, and they are beautiful not because of what they look like but what they do.

What does inner beauty mean to you?

It's about honoring yourself and honoring others.

Can you tell us about your journey on finding your beauty?

My journey has been about realizing that the standard our society holds us up to - not just for looks but for personality and achievements too - is almost impossible to reach. Real people aren't perfect, and that's okay.

What do you think are the main hurdles women face when dealing with accepting their beauty?

I think it's important to realize our self worth is not determine by what we look like or even by how other people treat us.  True worth comes from within.

In your opinion, how can we begin to help women have a healthier image of themselves? 

These is a lot of negative messaging in our society, and the issues start young - did you know the average girl goes on her first diet when she's 8 years old?  The biggest mistake we make is beating ourselves up for not looking like models or celebrities.   It's time we stop emulating or striving for a type of perfection that doesn't even exist in the real world.  

Join in on the fun of posting your unique message at: operationbeautiful@gmail.com

Meet The Women Who Want To Make Your Beautiful - Part 3 Colleen Sonmor: The Soul Coach

Joyous in love: The Soul Coach Colleen Sonmor

www.myinnerbeautyspa.com

Inner Bellissima would like to welcome you to Part 3 of the feature series of the women who want to unleash the true beauty within you. If you've just dropped in, then please let me enlighten you on the mission we're on. In the past couple of weeks, I've presented Claire Benson the hypnotherapist and Mona Bhattacharya the healer, both of whom are on a mission to help women stand proud and confident in their own skin. I must say, the response has been wonderful so far and it's beautiful to see professional women harness their skills (and power) to help us fellow women to uncover our true beauty.

This week, I would like to welcome Colleen Sonmor, The Soul Coach. With 25 years experience in the health and beauty field, Colleen has a flair in bringing out a woman's outer beauty. However, her talents continue to flourish: her compassionate and genuine heart-felt concern for her clients has led her down the road of coaching women. Whilst working with her clients, she not only was their stylist, but their confidant too. These women were in desperate need of healing. Read on to find out how Colleen conquered her inner, brutal struggle which she triumphantly conquered, why listening to our bodies is the cue to better health and why we women have to be kinder to ourselves.

What is your programme service about?

My service/programme offers pschosomatic therapy which is about body/mind connection and the practical ways to integrate it. I teach the clients to listen to their body because it always tells the truth. We may lie to ourselves but the body cuts through denial and gives us messages when we are willing to listen. Many people wait till they are very sick or have a major crisis before they wake up or decide to listen (which is okay too but that is not the best way).  We do have choices to change our lifestlye.  I also offer soul coaching which is a way to clear away the inner clutter and find our truth.  Both are ways to discover our truth and beauty.

What makes you want to inspire women to uncover their beauty?

What makes me want to inspire women to uncover their beauty is primarily because of my own journey of being very hard on myself and thinking that I was not good enough or could not do enough or simply be enough.  I thought that I had to be more, do more and have more in order to have value and worth to participate in life. Now that I have discovered my inner beauty and true value and worth, I see what a difference it makes in my life and living: I am passionate about sharing and empowering others with my experience, strength and hope, so that they will be able to learn how to take all of the pressure off of themselves to experience their truths, passion and love themselves and their lives.

Do you think we can think ourselves beautiful?

I absolutely think that we can think ourselves beautiful. Our words have more power than we know. I am learning to understand the energy behind the words and the feeling they invoke and that they are very powerful.  I personally take time every day to tell myself many positive, beautiful things about myself.  It is extremely uplifting and I can feel my beauty radiating outwards.  Also the feedback that I receive from people about how good I look, etc. is the feedback that lets me know that it works. Every word that we use influences and affects each atom and cell in our body. There are scientific studies done on this.  So, why not try it yourself and see the effects. I am more beautiful everyday, inside and out!

What does inner beauty mean to you?

Inner beauty is what is inside me; the inner landscape, which includes my thoughts, feelinngs and my very essence; my Soul.  It is my spirituality and my life force.  I am love and feeling that and understanding that is my inner beauty.  It has nothing to do with the outer appearance, but it does influence it because of the radiance you will emit when you plug into all of the love and inner beauty that you truly are.  It lights you up in a way that no make up, face lift or any other cosmetic surgery ever could.  Your truth is your inner beauty as well as your passions.  Tapping into your nonphysical energy is the beginning and end of your inner beauty.  LOVE is inner beauty.

Can you tell us about your journey on finding your beauty?

For much of my life people would tell me that I was pretty, good looking and sexy. I did not believe any of it.  I would think that they wanted something from me or that they needed glasses. Other statements people would say are "Thankyou for being you", and many positive compliments in regards to my Inner Being.  I did not believe any of it. I had a secret and that was as I mentioned before that I was not good enough.  I hated myself.  I was usually on a diet and exercise program so that I would look better so that I could find the love of my life and then I would feel better.  I was on a mission to feel better, but did not have the words at the time.  I developed alcholism, drug addiction, eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia, and plain old compulsive overeating) and cutting myself (to release the pain and punish myself). I was messed up. It also manifested in moving from relationship to relationship for many different reasons. I was looking for someone and something outside  of myself to make me feel good, in the simplest terms. 

My healing journey and finding my inner beauty began when I made some decisions to get help for my addictions.  So bit by bit and step by step I began to learn about spirituality and what I was truly about. It has been a journey that has been for most of my life. I began when I was in my 20's and I am now 55.  I have been in the beauty industry and healing industry for all of my career and now I want to focus on the inner beauty because I have seen many women struggling over the years.  I have found ways to heal and overcome many of these issues and I want to share all my knowledge and make a difference in the world.  Everytime I share or do one little thing to reach out or move beyond my comfort zone,  I am making a difference. I am very aware of this and it moves me gently and lovingly forward with beauty and grace.  No more "I have to" out of guilt, worry or not being good enough.  I am motivated by love, pure and simple.

What do you think are the main hurdles women face when dealing with accepting their beauty?

I think the main hurdles women face when dealing with accepting their beauty are the media and fear of change.  When we can learn to find our own beauty and not buy into what the media is feeding us, then we will be able to move forward.  The fear of change keeps us locked into where we are and hiding who we really are keeps us safe, or so we may think.  There are so many subtle things that hold us back. Another major hurdle that hold women back is the time factor.  They think that they have to put everyone else first.  It is a belief system that goes deep and is hard to lift ourselves out of.  Even when it is pointed out that when you are flying you are required to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help or do anything for anyone else,  women still cannot see it. We need to wake up to that. 

In your opinion, how can we begin to help women have a healthier image of themselves? 

In my opinion we can begin to help women have a healthier image of themselves by simply not buying into what the media is presenting and to begin to notice themselves and teach them to take time and appreciate who they are, inside and outside.  I teach women to look in the mirror, directly into their eyes and see what is there and to say:  I love you.  I also teach them to keep it simple and to look for one thing that they like about themselves and to focus and build on that. Anyone can find one thing that they like and appreciate about themselves! This is how to begin.  

Quit whining about yourself and your life and find one thing that you like And then go from there. Gratitude and appreciation and then forgiveness and starting over when you forget.  You are learning a new way to think and it is a process.  Do not give up on yourself, because you are beautiful! You are here for a reason and have a purpose.  One day at a time, just begin to learn to love you.

Find out how Colleen can blitz those nagging insecurities through her Soul Coaching programme on:
www.myinnerbeautyspa.com 

Meet The Women Who Want To Make You Beautiful Part 2: The Healer Mona Bhattacharya

Glowing Goddess: Mona Bhattacharya

http://www.goddessaction.com/

Welcome back to Part 2 of our special feature. This week Inner Bellissima presents spiritual healer, Mona Bhattacharya from Haiwaii. She is a powerful healer who has helped thousands of people return to their true selves through self-empowerment DNA activation. Although a lot of spiritual rewiring takes place, Mona promises to uncover the true beauty (amongst other potentials) lying dormant within you. In this interview, Mona speaks of why its pointless to convince a woman she's beautiful (instead she shows you the proper way), why its important to be called a Goddess, and what techniques can blast your ugly beliefs once and for all!


1) What is your programme about?

I work with the body in order to understand its reaction in relationship wth our consciousness. l see the body as the shrine holding the light of the consciousness because there are certain frequencies which we are made up of. There are different glands and organs vibrating on a certain level. So far example, around the head area and the pineal gland we are dealing with the thought process. As we go further down we are dealing with emotions, and as we go even further down we are dealing with the sexuality. My strength is I transcend most of the mental jargon and I go straight into the body and tune into how the physical body is resonating. For example, if I feel/see someone is not feeling beautiful, I will start helping them shift this belief by using special codes. Every belief holds a vibration, so for example, if you think you're not beautiful, somwehere within your body you are holding this belief. Maybe when you were a child you looked at a magazine and you compared yourself to these images, all the while thinking "I don't look like that so perhaps I'm not beautiful". It could be a simple passing thought like this that is now stored somewhere in the body, perhaps in the lower, sexual parts. I take the client back to where they can change their false paradigms.

2) What makes you want to inspire women to uncover their beauty?

Every woman wants to feel beautiful, loved, confident and like a goddess. I figured out that there is mechanism within us, which is activated when you follow you life purpose. I realised the more a woman follows the path she is meant to be on, the feelings of beauty and confidence will automatically come. When I am in tune with my vibrational powers, I strengthen the love and beauty within myself and this makes me want to empower others.  When I come across women who show me their insecurities, I can guide them to healing, because ultimately I want to create an army of goddesses who love their body and themselves.

3) Do you think we can think ourselves beautiful?

There is a way to do it: Thinking of yourself beautiful, if its not done right, can lead to what I call a pendulum effect; you wil force your mind with thoughts you don't resonate with. If you keep forcing yourself with thoughts that you are beautiful, then you wil go through a false sense of upliftment, which will then subside and you will recoil and then swing to feelings of ugliness. You are only convincing yourself mentally but not energetically. This feeling of beauty needs to be activated on an a vibrational level. You have to go back to square one, stripping yourself of all your false beauty beliefs, to think yourself unbeautiful and then begin the journey forward to your true beauty.

4) What does inner beauty mean to you?

Beauty means structural integrity, which means the way things are shaped and formed. When you start becoming yourself, the cells in your body return to its true structural form, which support your true life passion and as a result your body begins to vibrate beauty.

5) Can you tell us about your journey on finding your beauty?

At one point I was 170 pounds in weight. From a very young age, I knew I had a spiritual power and could control my body. I became over confident and let myself go in a year to see what I would experience. I wanted to see what it would be like just to eat whatever I wanted: I ate comfort foods which were damaging my vibrational levels: as a result my energy levels were plummeting. I began then reversing  all of this damage I was doing to my body and here I am telling you my story!

6) What do you think are the main hurdles women face when dealing with accepting their beauty?


The thing they face is the fear of failure and ironically relinquishing things like comfort foods. Returning to your natural state means you have to let go of certain belief systems, which have kept you comfortable, but miserable for so long. It's almost as if the insecurity becomes the security. Their is always something deeper that women have to face, like "I'm not worthy" or "I'm not loved" and "I don't deserve certain things": You have to face them to become your natural, graceful self. You have to accept your shadow to come out on the other side.

I also believe, one of the wars fought against beauty is through the food system. I find it's difficult to find natural, good food these days.

7) In your opinion, how can we begin to help women have a healthier image of themselves?


As uncomfortable as it may sound, I tell women they are a goddess. There's a tremendous power connecting to that paradigm; it has an impact on the subconscious mind. I think calling a woman by her true name is a subtle way of empowering her. What we could also do, is let women face their insecurities. For instance, if a woman is feeling fat or unattractive, other women will come along saying: "Oh no, you look great!". What happens is you falsely convince that person, who will not really resonate true feelings of beauty. You are going to go through moments of not feeling beautiful, it's cyclical but its best she processes her paradigms and feelings. Life is not about waking up and feeling like a super goddess; it's something you begin to develop on your journey. I also feel its important to encourage women to have fun life attitude, so that not all their focus is on their image.

Fancy chatting with Mona and her team? Then follow this link for a free session
http://www.goddessaction.com/free-mini-session.html

Meet The Women Who Want To Make You Beautiful - Part 1 The Hypnotherapist: Claire Benson

                                                       Smiling pretty: Hypnotherapist Claire Benson
                                                       http://www.unstuck-thinking.co.uk/


Welcome to Part 1 of  Meet The Women Who Want To Make You Beautiful. InnerBellissima is on the hunt for women who are actioning change against false beauty beliefs woman tend to harbour. Each week I'll be bringing you free links, downloads and offers from these professional women who want to turn you into the beautiful woman you deserve to be in this world.

Our first lady of the week is Claire Benson The Hypnotherapist: her Hypnogogo programmes (available on iTunes) centres around blasting false paradigms when it comes to weight, fertility, confidence and abundance. But, it was her Hypnogoslow: Release Your Inner Beauty ( http://www.unstuck-thinking.co.uk/mind--body/promotions/hypnogoslow-release-your.html) that caught out attention here at InnerBellissima. In this interview, Claire speaks about her journey to finding her true beauty, gives advice on how you can think yourself beautiful and the hurdles we women face on our journey to becoming the beauty we truly are.



What is your programme about?

As a hypnotherapist I work with clients to improve their confidence in a way that's bespoke to them and help them on their own personal journey. This is particularly important when dealing with confidence, self-worth and self-belief issues as no two people are the same. Often problems are grounded in childhood and it's important to respect, heal, as well as encourage positive change that's right for the individual.

I run a six-session weight-reduction programme that helps and supports women while they change their eating and exercise habits as well as dealing with any underlying issues that may have led to them gaining weight. This programme encourages women to start loving and respecting their body, treating it as if it were a good friend rather than an enemy. And while feeling good on the inside makes you beautiful on the outside I also believe that looking good on the outside can make you feel good on the inside too. 

What makes you want to inspire women to uncover their beauty?

I love the idea of world full of self-assured, confident, strong women, don't you? When you inspire these qualities in women not only do they become more beautiful so does the world in which we live.

Do you think we can think ourselves beautiful?

Yes, I believe that our thoughts create our realities - that whatever shows on the outside of you - your habits, your values, your beliefs and the way you look - all started off as thoughts.  I love this quote from the Buddha, it sums it up perfectly:

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words for they become action.  Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become character. Watch your character for it becomes your destiny."

What does inner beauty mean to you?

Inner beauty is about confidence, self-belief and self-love. It's also about happiness and feeling good - think about how you glow when you are happy and feel good it's as though your energy vibrates at a totally different frequency.

Tell us about your journey on finding your beauty

My inner beauty (aka confidence) has become stronger and more powerful as I've got older. I believe in myself now in a way that I didn't as a younger woman. I take plenty of time to look after myself physically, emotionally and spiritually because I think I deserve to be looked after. I think you do too!

What do you think are the main hurdles women face when dealing with
accepting their beauty?

I think in English culture we have a strange perception of what beauty means and this isn't helpful. We aren't particularly supportive of strong and confident women.  We portray female role models in a very odd way, worshipping celebrities over and above intelligence & intelligent contributors who are women just don't feature enough in our media.  

As for how women look: I believe we don't like our women in a public office to look their best, as if slovenly dressing demonstrates that you're better at your job (it doesn't, note how fantastic Christine Lagarde always looks).  And yet if you don't dress your best you are vilified too. I think this puts women in a no-win situation and that's a massive cultural hurdle.

In your opinion, how can we begin to help women have a healthier
image of themselves?

Firstly by encouraging women to accept and love themselves as they are. Then from this startpoint of love and acceptance consider what personal journey each woman would like to follow (if they choose to). They might want to get better at doing a particular skill, learn something new, grow their confidence, find love, be a better parent, get fitter, be happier or whatever.  This personal growth could be physical, emotional or spiritual.

I believe that we are all lifelong learners and that learning stuff is a great way to build confidence.  I myself have just started playing the bass guitar. I might look like an aging rocker, but it makes me feel more beautiful! I think having a sense of humour is important too, because smiling and laughter is always beautiful.

You can learn more about Claire Benson and her latest programmes at http://www.unstuck-thinking.co.uk/

Meet The Real Miss Congeniality

Katharine Diana Watson & Jodie Earley - the pair behind Miss Essence of Kindness

Beauty Pageants - glamorous, jaw-dropping chiselled faces and bodies, swishy evening gowns and the cliched line of "I want world peace" can portray the participants as shallow and fiercely competing for a jewelled crown. But, surely, not all the long-legged participants want to follow the cookie-cutter pattern of becoming the most desired woman in the world? This is where Katharine Diana Watson steps in: an ex-beauty queen, with a burning desire to show every woman she's beautiful in her on special way. In this one-to-one interview, I catch up with Katharine to fully understand the mission behind Miss Essence Of Kindness:

1) What made you set up the charity pageant?

 

Jodie Eardley and I are organising this charity pageant because we have both been in beauty pageants ourselves over the past couple of years and have had positive experiences through our involvement with them. Personally, I had never done any fundraising prior to taking part in the pageants so my main achievement out of entering them has been the fact that I have done so much fundraising since. There are many things I have done over the past couple of years that I wouldn’t have had the courage to do if I hadn’t have entered my first pageant. We've decided to make a pageant that is all about the fundraising and about the confidence it can give you. Additionally, I want to improve confidence in women and allow them to be themselves by celebrating who they are.

 

2) What does inner beauty mean to you?

 

There is no limit to beauty. Many people tend to get so consumed with their outer looks that we forget how important beauty on the inside is. I take pride in my appearance but I have come to accept that I am who I am, and there are so many more important things in life. Being the best I can be, and making the people around me happy is what I love. We are all perfect in our own way.

 

3) Please tell me more about your experience as a beauty queen. 

 

 It takes a lot of courage to walk around on stage with your head held high and a smile on your face but as long as you enjoy the experience you find it easier. Also, it really helps to show that you’re enjoying yourself. One thing we’re looking for in our contestants is that they are enjoying their time on the stage.

 

4) What, in your opinion, makes a women beautiful?

 

It may sound cliché, but we are all beautiful in our own way. It is so much more important that you are beautiful on the inside because it shows on the outside.

 

5) What are you trying to achieve with this pageant?

 

I want to encourage fundraising and beauty within. I love that I am giving other girls the opportunity and encouragement to fundraise and improve their confidence. I hope that they have a wonderful experience. Many pageants require their contestants to have no tattoos, be a certain height, a certain marital status etc. Whereas we are allowing any kind of woman to enter as long as they are enthusiastic about fundraising and have a kind heart.

 

6) What has the reaction been so far? Are you getting interest?

 

We have advertised through the local paper, Facebook, Twitter and posters. It can be tough to get the word out about events and get people to enter. A common response I noticed from some women was that they felt that they didn’t look like the stereotypical beauty queen or that they lacked the confidence. I have tried to spread the word that this pageant is, particularly, for a woman who may think that about themselves as I want them to gain confidence and enjoy celebrating who they are.

 

7) What is the future of Miss Essence Of Kindness? And what is the main message?

 

Well, we really hope that this is a success and that in the future we can hold the pageant again so that more women can enjoy the experience we provide them.

Miss Essence of Kindness will be held on 27th July 

Transformation At The Flick Of A Make Up Brush - What We Can Learn From Promise Tamang Phan's Tutorial Videos

Here at InnerBellissima I have one rule: make up is used as a tool of self-expression and as means to highlight your best features. Well, some of us use it for that purpose; but Nepalese make up artist Promise Tamang Phan has caught worldwide attention through her YouTube channel. Promise transforms herself into different people...mainly celebrities like Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Scarlet Johansson and Michael Jackson. She spearheads each look with steady handed patience and creativity.

It got me thinking on the day-to-day use of cosmetics: women magazines are bombarded with products, all seemingly, suited for several skin types, shades and flawlessness. There are countless correctors, concealers, colours, all of which, are aiming for the same goal: perfect looking skin. I can't help but feel the marketing and media is sucking the life out of this beautiful creative tool Promise has demonstrated.

In fact, it has never been easier to transform ourselves through cosmetic skills - just take a look at all the make up tutorials available on YouTube; we're so spoilt for choice. The point I want to make is this: Are we after cosmetic mastery or idealistic perfectionism when it comes to our faces? Do we have fun applying make up or are does the obsession of covering up flaws gnaw at you? Have a think.....

Check out Promise's chameleon looks here: <script src="http://player.ooyala.com/player.js?video_pcode=RvbGU6Z74XE_a3bj4QwRGByhq9h2&height=348&embedCode=52eHBoNDpdIXl0xiz2ciPIvB0Q19JMN-&width=620&deepLinkEmbedCode=52eHBoNDpdIXl0xiz2ciPIvB0Q19JMN-"></script>

How Eva Fraser's Facial Exercises Made Me Make Peace With The Mirror

I remember meeting Eva Fraser, the guru of facial exercises in the summer of 2010. I had approached her with a view to doing an interview on how she became the guru of tightening droopy eyelids, sagging jowls and flabby cheeks. To make sure I understood her techniques, I asked if she could give me a show 'n' tell of her facial exercises. Whether I enjoyed it or not, I had to look in the mirror in bright day light to examine my face and look at the areas I wanted to tone. This was the time I could either cave into internal criticism or learn to make peace with myself. I felt uncomfortable. The mirror and I were enemies, especially with this amount of bright light. The voice of criticism was sparked: "your cheeks are flat, your eyes are hollow, your nose is bent, your lips are too thin...". On and on it went. I wanted this annoying voice to shut up. I had come in search for natural anti-ageing techniques, or better still, a literal hands-on-method without having to resort to plastic surgery later on in life.

So what did I do? Well, as simple as it sounds, I fully brought my mind into the present moment. I was there to learn; not judge myself on how attractive I was. I wanted solutions; not obstacles. I began zooming in to every technique Eva was showing me because my time with her was precious. It's no easy task silencing the mind, but it sure was worth it. Doing facial exercises meant I had to look in the mirror each day, which I began to do with mindfulness; it was a technique I began enjoying and with each passing day I appreciated the gift I was given by a wise lady. Thank you Eva Fraser! 

Miss Essence of Kindness: A Pageant For Inner Beauty, Without The Bikini Contest

Ever fancied a beauty pageant that no longer judges a woman by her looks? Can such an event exist? Ex-beauty paegants, Katharine Watson and Jodie Eardley from Abergele, Wales, have turned dreams into reality. They are ploughing the path to creating a beauty paegant with substance. Having had experience in the cut throat world of beauty queens, they are providing a platform for girls to bolster their confidence - without the bikini contest! The aptly named Miss Essence of Kindness,  is on the hunt for women who have a cocktail of self-confidence, inner beauty and ultimately, kindness. Much more than swishy, glamorous ball gowns, these girls will demonstrate through interviews and their efforts in raising money for charity, as to what makes them unique.

The aim of the paegant is for every girl, no matter her size, shape, colour or race will have the opportunity to compete. Moreover, the woman who emanates kindness, and inner beauty will win the crown! Hurrah!

Photograph: digitalart from www.freedigitalphotos.net

Maintaining Your Beauty Through Cancer

Last night I was introduced to a beautiful, fun-loving blonde friend. Now, whilst she sucked on a dainty cigarette, she said something interesting: "I spend so much money on my face and my body to maintain it!". (I felt it too rude to ask if she opted Botox or plastic surgery, but didn't see the tell tale signs). Here, I was chatting away with a bubbly blonde, who non-nonchalantly complained about several things: including her wrinkles and how her roots were showing; when ironically, we were two streets down from Harley Street, the most famous medical street in the world, where hundreds of ill patients seek expert treatment for cancer. Any type of cancer can leave even the most beautiful woman feel unfeminine and questioning whether she is beautiful.

The point I'm trying to make is: those who have beauty often get sidetracked by insecurities, leading them to hundreds of ways and means to maintain it. As the saying goes: "You don't what you've got until its gone". It got me thinking about women battling with cancer who look for ways to soften the blows of cancer: they search for ways to maintain their femininity, their physical beauty and their mindset, whilst they watch how cancer takes its toll on their physical appearances. I began searching for videos on cancer and inner beauty (which I've posted below) to see how cosmetics is used as a tool to bring out a woman's femininity. I felt these woman began to appreciate and understand simple ways and techniques to harness the healing process. Some opted for health eating, others sought out glossy, real human hair wigs and others tuned into yoga. All in all, when I researched this topic, I could see female cancer patients, even if their exterior appearance was crumbling, they picked up the pieces and cemented a whole new beautiful person!

I hope these videos shed light on inner beauty and what it means to feel beautiful :0) Enjoy

One Man's Journey to Show Men that Inner Beauty Should Be Acknowledged

Photo: Michal Marcol (www.freedigitalphotos.net)

Online dating: is a hot bed of harsh, or often judgemental comments on people's profile, who may not always be on the supermodel list, but have qualities, characteristics or a je ne sais quois sex appeal that isn't always picked up from virtual reality. 

One man, however, is determined for people, especially men, to see beyond pretty faces. Ex-D.J Jonathan Marga Luhur, launched Updaterus.com for Indonesians, after having first-hand experience of always having been surrounded by gorgeous faces in the entertainment field. He understood how man can be intoxicated by a woman's exterior appearance and sadly side line her character; when in fact, she could be the ideal women for him. Ultimately, he believes, it's a woman's attitude, characteristics, goals and hobbies, which shows her true beauty and this is what men should  acknowledge. 

I would love to hear your comments, opinions and thoughts if you've tried online dating and feel like you're being judged on your looks. After all, what has attracted you to that person? Looks? Personality? Or both? I look forward to reading your comments :0) 

 

In the Name of Inner Beauty, 60 Days Without Make-Up & True Beauty - Amen

Make-up techniques and how-to's can rule YouTube and search engines. After all, once you lose your cosmetic virginity you know you're a woman; a woman who wants to know how to paint herself beautiful. So I ask you: Do you remember the first day you applied make-up? Or watched your mother or sister doll themselves with real cosmetics, whilst you toyed around with fake lipsticks, compact mirrors and blushers? Each girl has her 5 minute or 1 hour pat, puff, conceal and highlight cosmetic routine that begins at an early age and continues right until the walking sticks appear. But what if one day, you zipped up the cosmetic bag, declaring "enough is enough!" - you will show the world what you truly look like first thing in the morning, without your "artificially painted face".

Well, two brave women unabashedly withdrew from their daily cosmetic routines and their challenge was: no make-up for inner beauty.

Molly Barker and Caitlin Boyle both run organisations to help teenage girls develop their self-esteem. Barker, who trains girls to be triathletes, felt she needed to abandon eye palettes and lip glosses to endorse the true meaning of inner beauty.  She then joined forces with Boyle (who runs OperationBeauty.com) and both set aside their clockwork beauty routine. They proudly named their experiment The Naked Face Project, were they gave up nail polish, anti-wrinkle creams, hair accessories and deodorant for 60 days, to show that sometimes women depend heavily on cosmetics. However, the beautiful point they made was how each of them felt more comfortable in their own skin; they felt lighter, more youthful and were at peace in "their own skin". 

Neither of them are beauty bashers, but through this journey, they've come to understand what truly empowers them. And that's what true and inner beauty is all about: knowing that external items or lashes are mere camouflages to the empowered woman that lies beneath.....

To find out more or to take part in The Naked Face Project click here http://www.thenakedfaceproject.com/

Below is a video posted by www.OperationBeauty.com with an inspiring message of beauty - Please take a few minutes to watch it:

Video on Inner Beauty - Can We Truly See It?

As children we see beauty everywhere, and in everything.  As adults, we tend to let out judgemental eyes scour over which face and body is attractive. I came across this video that questions how and if we actually can see inner beauty. What I loved about this video is how the girl saw people's beauty despite their physicality. She does her best in suspending judgement and begins analysing and understanding what makes each individual person beautiful. It really makes you think..... watch it with an open mind and heart. 

How To Rock Braces and Glasses - The Insight Trip On How Teenagers Battle With Beauty

Be Your Own You magazine, a publication dedicated to encouraging girls self-esteem and inner beauty awareness, featured a fantastic interview that caught me eye: Teenage author Meg Haston's first book, How to Rock Braces and Glasses challenges the unrealistic standards of beauty set up by society and hones into the fragile and back stabbing world of teenage girls.

Haston's protagonist, Kacey Simon, falls from grace when she is saddled with braces and glasses and begins developing her musical talents. No longer perceived as the ideal popular teenage girl, Kacey's friendships begin to dwindle. Despite the blows she faces at school, Kacey builds her inner strength, showing her peermate she will continue on the path she chooses, even if she doesn't fit into the mould of the archetypal pretty girl.

What started out as a mere story, has now been soared into the realms of television with a series on Nickelodeon. With teenage bullying becoming an increasing social problem, I feel the How to Rock Braces and Glasses series is a powerful message to teenage girls to stop feeling insecure and have faith in who they want to become. 

Bare Minerals Campaign For Inner Beauty

What makes a woman beautiful? bareMinerals new campaign is championing inner beauty and has "set out to find beauty". The thirst to challenge the world of beauty and start a trend of healthy beauty beliefs is the crux of InnerBellissima. So here's the story behind bareMinerals successful slogan of  "Be A Force of Beauty"

271 women were invited (all models were blind casted) to answer right questions about their attitude to life and their impact on the world around them. The team narrowed down their respondents to 78 phone interviews (again this is without seeing their faces). 26 women were called back, which finally led to "five forces of beauty" been chosen. 

More than just embodiments of physical beauty, the judges chose these women according to their ethos of: "beauty is what you do with it". Each of the women chosen (who are gorgeous!) has steered their live towards their dreams, despite nagging naysayers and challenging circumstances. Ultimately, this is what makes a women their true beauty she is - a powerful and determined force who isn't ready to take no for answer. What I loved about the message was that a women needn't be afraid to shine because ultimately, their inner beauty is what changes their world for the better. 

Check out their advert campaign! 

There Are No Ugly Women... Just Lazy Ones

Is the title of the blog (one of Helena Rubinstein's mantras about beauty) a thought that has hit you between the eyes? Has it challenged the status quo that not every woman has je ne sais quois beauty. Or is it a contradiction to inner beauty?

I know I've thrown a lot of food for thought questions because I see a paradigm of guilt, shame, laziness, belligerence, confusion and dilemma about beauty: swinging from intense hours of physical grooming or downright vain. What I'm trying to encourage here is for each woman to step up from mediocrity to fabulousness. As much as I love to see women who are humble about their looks, conversely, I equally enjoy a woman flaunting herself like a peahen, thriving in her femininity, feeling proud of her inner and outer beauty in her body. Sadly though, I see very many beautiful women carry a negative, dark vibe about themselves. All I want to do is shake them and say: "Look you're really beautiful, just make some effort with yourself".

Admittedly, I'm one of those women who at times rushes out without bothering to spark my beauty glow; on go the clothes, shovelling of the breakfast in my mouth and then scrambling to the train station. I then wonder, why I feel like such an ugly mess when I arrive at the office. As soon as I get up, I'm in rush/panic/anxious mode, instead of immersing myself into a peaceful/happy/beautiful sphere. 

The false belief that modern women need not be concerned with their outward appearance and proudly announce their personality and inner beauty is what counts, is a false belief I see many use to fob of taking care of themselves. What I'm trying to understand is why and how does a woman feel lazy, unmotivated, lost or simply self-sabotage herself into locking away her beauty?

I believe this type of thinking keeps many women secretly locked into a lack-lustre relationship with themselves, their body and inner beauty. Much as some would like to spend time time in a lavish beauty ritual, the kids, the husband, the boyfriend or simply not hearing the alarm clock in the morning, become the looming obstacles to exercising our inner beauty. True beauty is about gelling the kindness, humility and generosity, as well as the physical maintenance of the body - remember its all about balance.

Photos: www.freedigitalphotos.net

What do We Woman Find Beautiful?

Shakespeare said: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Easy to say considering he was a man (please forgive the feminist comment) but art, photography and literature were all male dominated, thus lending a one-sided perception of what is considered beauty.

Mr Shakespeare had a myopic opinion: the pressure of attaining symmetrical beauty surrounds us woman more than ever before. Day by day, the illusion of ideal beauty is notched higher and higher to ridiculous heights - take for instance, the latest winner of the Elite Model Competition 2011, 15 year old Julia Schneider whose glamorous allure but waif-like figure has raised plenty of eyebrows. It somehow has set the tone that we all must be uber slender, be blessed with cheekbones that cut glass and bone structure that rivals Kate Moss.

Of course, there is resentment, frustration, guilt and shame. Femininity is out, replaced by hardcore sex-on- legs role models. I've started noticing women who opt for plastic surgery; a majority of them opt for the button nose, high cheekbones and inflated lips, tilting towards the Angelina Jolie look.

In the midst of all this mangling of the female body, I have to ask, what do women find beautiful? We easily criticise one another thinking: she is too fat, too unkempt, too plain, too boring, too this or to that; oh dear, the list of sharp criticism continues to rip apart our beauty identity.

So I'm asking you, right now, just stop, listen, observe, look around and appreciate those women who may not always understand, know or have the confidence to see what makes them beautiful. Before letting your mind judge, send your thoughts down to your heart the next time you see a woman who you may not consider a conventional beauty and attempt to see the beauty that lies within her.

Photo: www.freedigitalphotos.net

Drawing The Line Between Vanity & Preserving Beauty

Vanity demands attention; beauty attracts it.

We all want to look our best: some of us can do it in little time, others require a full blown 3 hours; either way looking your best or taking time to get ready can be easily misinterpreted as an act of self-indulgence. Do you think because you arrange your hair in a certain way, block out your weekends for nurturing your mind, body&soul and take pride in caring for yourself are acts of vanity? Or genuine self-care?

I notice that when I take time to appreciate myself in the mirror, all sorts of comments are thrown at me - either I'm full of myself, vain or I've turned into a bimbo. My actions are perceived as narcissistic by other people - but that certainly isn't my belief. When I look at myself in the mirror, I admire the reflection. I go deep within myself and look squarely into my eyes saying: "Today I will be beautiful; today I will be the best I can". Honestly, adopting such kind and loving self-affirmations have attracted the right comments, right people and increased my self-confidence.

Vanity is a behaviour and a belief going beyond a healthy view of appreciating your unique image Vanity is excess pride in one's appearance and abilities.

Alarmingly, I've come across women who have all this beauty knowledge and will scorn or belittle other women for NOT caring for their body - I consider such behaviour vain. There is no need to impose views or criticise others for not taking the time to indulge in their own appearances - if anything I've come to understand many women feel trapped in their self-loathing or guilt to love their body.

It's time to create the middle ground in the midst of the black and white world of beauty. Create harmony and balance when preserving your beauty because its YOUR time to relish in your uniqueness.

Photo by: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net