There Are No Ugly Women... Just Lazy Ones

Is the title of the blog (one of Helena Rubinstein's mantras about beauty) a thought that has hit you between the eyes? Has it challenged the status quo that not every woman has je ne sais quois beauty. Or is it a contradiction to inner beauty?

I know I've thrown a lot of food for thought questions because I see a paradigm of guilt, shame, laziness, belligerence, confusion and dilemma about beauty: swinging from intense hours of physical grooming or downright vain. What I'm trying to encourage here is for each woman to step up from mediocrity to fabulousness. As much as I love to see women who are humble about their looks, conversely, I equally enjoy a woman flaunting herself like a peahen, thriving in her femininity, feeling proud of her inner and outer beauty in her body. Sadly though, I see very many beautiful women carry a negative, dark vibe about themselves. All I want to do is shake them and say: "Look you're really beautiful, just make some effort with yourself".

Admittedly, I'm one of those women who at times rushes out without bothering to spark my beauty glow; on go the clothes, shovelling of the breakfast in my mouth and then scrambling to the train station. I then wonder, why I feel like such an ugly mess when I arrive at the office. As soon as I get up, I'm in rush/panic/anxious mode, instead of immersing myself into a peaceful/happy/beautiful sphere. 

The false belief that modern women need not be concerned with their outward appearance and proudly announce their personality and inner beauty is what counts, is a false belief I see many use to fob of taking care of themselves. What I'm trying to understand is why and how does a woman feel lazy, unmotivated, lost or simply self-sabotage herself into locking away her beauty?

I believe this type of thinking keeps many women secretly locked into a lack-lustre relationship with themselves, their body and inner beauty. Much as some would like to spend time time in a lavish beauty ritual, the kids, the husband, the boyfriend or simply not hearing the alarm clock in the morning, become the looming obstacles to exercising our inner beauty. True beauty is about gelling the kindness, humility and generosity, as well as the physical maintenance of the body - remember its all about balance.

Photos: www.freedigitalphotos.net

Drawing The Line Between Vanity & Preserving Beauty

Vanity demands attention; beauty attracts it.

We all want to look our best: some of us can do it in little time, others require a full blown 3 hours; either way looking your best or taking time to get ready can be easily misinterpreted as an act of self-indulgence. Do you think because you arrange your hair in a certain way, block out your weekends for nurturing your mind, body&soul and take pride in caring for yourself are acts of vanity? Or genuine self-care?

I notice that when I take time to appreciate myself in the mirror, all sorts of comments are thrown at me - either I'm full of myself, vain or I've turned into a bimbo. My actions are perceived as narcissistic by other people - but that certainly isn't my belief. When I look at myself in the mirror, I admire the reflection. I go deep within myself and look squarely into my eyes saying: "Today I will be beautiful; today I will be the best I can". Honestly, adopting such kind and loving self-affirmations have attracted the right comments, right people and increased my self-confidence.

Vanity is a behaviour and a belief going beyond a healthy view of appreciating your unique image Vanity is excess pride in one's appearance and abilities.

Alarmingly, I've come across women who have all this beauty knowledge and will scorn or belittle other women for NOT caring for their body - I consider such behaviour vain. There is no need to impose views or criticise others for not taking the time to indulge in their own appearances - if anything I've come to understand many women feel trapped in their self-loathing or guilt to love their body.

It's time to create the middle ground in the midst of the black and white world of beauty. Create harmony and balance when preserving your beauty because its YOUR time to relish in your uniqueness.

Photo by: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net